Common effects of the Ten Best Strains of Maal! (Weed)

Look at this fatty, holy shit. Source: The High Times

Everyone loves to smoke weed. That is a straight fact. From teens to old people. Weed unites people across generations. But many people are not aware of what the actual effects of the weed that they are smoking are. Hopefully after reading this you can become an informed smoker, because all they all say, an informed smoker is a very high smoker. I mean you get high either way, even if you do not know anything about the strain. Bottom line is get fucked up y’all.

  • Pineapple Express

    Look at this bad boy strain that will set you right!! Source: Youtube

This hybrid strain is a mix of Trainwreck and Hawaiian. It is named after the classic cult movie Pineapple Express. It smell is a mix of mango and fresh apple. The result is a very energetic high is best used to spice up a tired afternoon! Strain may cause you to go on an adventure with your best friend after accidently watching a big time drug dealer and a police officer kill someone in cold blood. Strain mainly sold to best friends by dealers after giving Mexican Brick Weed to some annoying hacks bothering you.

  • Hindu Kush
This dank kush will get you higher than the mountains it is named after!! Source:

Hindu Kush is a pure Indica strain named after the Hindu Kush mountains of India and Pakistan where it originated. This strain is known for high quantity of hash on the outside. This is because of the harsh climate from which the strain came forced the plant to adapt and resulted in trichomes coating the exterior of the plant. This is a very calming strain that is often used by people with nausea and stress. Be forewarned, strain may cause you to move to India forever to live a life of solitude and smoke a shit ton of weed. Smoking this may cause you to break out into choreographed Bollywood numbers at random times that end with you in a random location somewhere with a girl you barely know in love with you. Basically you will be kidnapped and transported somewhere.

  • Lemon Kush
Look at that dank dank ganja!! Source: Zenpype

This is a hybrid strain that is a mix of Lemon Joy and Master Kush. This smells strongly of lemon and smoking it is almost like drinking lemonade. Except you are smoking weed and not drinking lemonade. It helps uplift the smoker and increase his/her creativity! After smoking this strain, you are protected from lemons for the rest of your life. Test it out by putting half a lemon into your mouth and seeing what happens.

  • OG Kush
The daddy of all West Coast weed in America. Source: Leafly

OG Kush is the patriarch of the West Coast grow operations. Nearly every hybrid strain has some mix of OG Kush in it. That is why it is called OG Kush, OG standing for Original. Has a very earthy smell that is reflected heavily in all its children. But in spite of its importance and fame, its origins are still unknown. It is best for stress relief. It is literally the original strain to come to the west coast. Also this strain may cause the smoker to spontaneously become a rapper and start spitting that fire!! Don’t mumble rap though, be like the Wu Tang Clan or Eminem.

  • Northern Lights
What looks better? The actual northern lights, or this dank strain!! Source: Medical Jane

Northern Lights is one of the most famous strains in the history of cultivated marijuana growth. It is a quick growing pure Indica strain. It is great for muscle relaxation. There were rumors that this strain was first sprouted in Seattle, but in reality it was brought over from Holland. It also helps smokers with sleeplessness and pain. Northern Lights has also been the parent strain to many popular hybrids like Shiva Skunk and Super Silver Haze. Another effect is the ability to see Aurora Borealis from anywhere in the world. You will see lights in the sky, I mean do you guys need another reason to hit it? Not likely.

  • Alaskan Thunderfuck
Alaskan Thunder finna gonna fuck you up! Source: Leafly

This legendary Sativa dominant hybrid strain comes from Matanuska Valley in, you guessed it Alaska. Legend states that it was a Northern California Sativa that was mixed with an unknown Russian strain. So it has some Soviet in it. Effects of smoking it include an unbearable urge to ride a horse without a shirt on, invade the country of Georgia, and enter a cold war with the United States. Finally, this shit will make you coldest hardest bitch in town, a fucker that mess with bears and shit. You also may find gold now and again after hitting this.

  • Girl Scout Cookies
Girl Scouts Cookies also known as GSC is one of the dopest strains of weed out there. Source:

Originating from California this OG Kush and Durban Poison hybrid grew to popular to stay in its home state and spread across the country. This strain has won many Cannabis cups. Main effects are the urge to eat a lot of Girl Scout Cookies and then go door to door trying to sell them. Be careful though, people will look at your weird if you try to sell them stuff door to door, while wearing a girl scout uniform.

  • Presidential


Presidential strain is a hella mellow strain. #FAKENEWS #TRUMP. Source:

This strain is a Indica dominant strain made up of Bubble Gum and OG Kush. It is actually almost purely Indica. Has a heavy citrus pine smell. Strain may cause smoker to start tweeting with the hashtag FakeNews, while ironically only watching Fox New. It may also cause your hair to turn orange and start flying around in the wind. It may make you extremely racist all the while claiming that you are the least racist person alive. Finally it was cause your hands to shrink! Sorry. You all know that Trump is hitting that pipe filled with this strain all day man, all damn day,

  • Gorilla Glue
Gorilla Glue is one of the most expensive strains out there! Source: News THC

Names after the brand of super strength glue, this strain tries to embody everything that glue brand stands for. Durable and long lasting. A mix of Chocolate Diesel and Chem’s sister, this strain is very potent and can make you very sleepy and drowsy. Though mainly it has given me the urge to put the glue on every piece of furniture in your house.

  • Blue Dream
Blue Dream, is the cream of the crop, the best of the best! Source: Leafly

This strain is the shit. Costs about 10 dollars per gram in the US. It is a sativa dominant hybrid. A mix of Blueberry and Haze it provides a high that lasts for hours. Taste of blueberry comes from its parent. Extremely popular in California. If you smoke this dank kush you will have dreams of the color blue for months afterwards. After smoking this blue becomes your favorite color hands down.

By - Aditya Joglekar

Author: By – Aditya Joglekar

Hello to everyone from the average reader to the FBI/NSA agent watching this! I am an intern at I love to write about sports and tech. Follow me on twitter @The_Joglekar #sixseasonsandamovie.